Changing Lives With Small but......Oh so Feisty step!

Everyone deals with pain differently. When the husband of a young woman, who lived in a slum, died, the pain was so intense, that she wondered whether she would survive it.

But, on second thoughts, she wiped her eyes and her tears dry'd up! It was not impossible for her to outlive the death of her husband, when the hard reality of taking care of her mother-in-law and her son hit her!
She did survived and decided to drive an autorickshaw! Of all the things why an autorickshaw? "How can women drive autos? Isn't it after all men's job?"

Well, her late husband would drive rented autorickshaws and this young lady who had a passion for driving, knew how to drive an auto, as her husband had helped her to master the skill of driving.

When her husband passed away, she managed to get a permit as the Maharashtra Government scheme of the state reserves five percent of rickshaw permits for women, but, she had to put a tough fight to break the barriers and make a place for herself in a male centric field.

We all know female auto-drivers across the country have had to combat chauvinism.

Initially, many people  were unwilling to rent out their autorickshaws to her on the sole ground that she was a woman.

She did not give up and got in touch with various women empowerment groups who helped her to drive rented autorickshaws. Soon, she managed to buy an auto with her small savings.

She was looked down upon by her own family and society for joining this profession, though she was appreciated by many for the courage to break into the male-dominated profession.

Her mother-in-law objected to her decision and suggested that there were so many other things she could do for survival. Not only, the family pressure was bogging her down, but the pressure of society was no less. She was often chased by the bikers. She wondered why people would often point at her, telling one another, of the lady auto-driver in the lane. She failed to understand this  peculiar Indian habit, "If we see a woman behind a four wheeler, or a woman driving an auto, bus, taxi or train and we must give a second look!"

She never took this small step,"Kadam chhota" to break the stereotype. She took up this profession of an auto-driver to make both the ends meet, as that was the best thing she could do. Driving an autorickshaw was a step that enabled her to fill the financial void that was created due to the absence of her husband.


Soon she realised her small step was leading to "Change bada." She noticed that her chhota kadam was encouraging more and more women to join driving a cab, an autorickshaw or just any other public transport such as a train or a bus. Though her adversity brought her to drive an autorickshaw for a regular source of income, she wished that more women should take up this profession.

Despite opposition and challenges, this young woman did not give up and inspired a generation of women auto-drivers. Little did she know that her step though small was a feisty one! 

"This young woman shuts all the stereotypes down, when she drives around the lanes of her town!"

"Kadam Chhota, Change Bada!"

Come on, You all will agree with me that if you see a woman driving an autorickshaw, you stop and give her a second look!

Today, when I sat down to share my "small steps"  story, I reminisced the fond memories of this woman auto-driver, whom I had met a few years back in Thane. I couldn't resist myself then and had asked her, "Why as an auto-driver?" 
I outstandingly remember her words, "Madam, I don't have a college degree, if I would engage in manual labour, it would involve long hours of working and low pay. This profession serves as a higher source of income and also its flexible hours helps me to take care of my family as well. It's my choice, a small step to support my family!" 

I distinctly remember her name as,"Vimla", and remarkably remember her story of "small steps" that was narrated by her then.


Contrary to popular stereotypes that portray women as weak, Yes, women are capable of enormous strength, including the strength to bring about CHANGE for themselves and for others.

Change can be about women driving  autorickshaws for a living!

Gender and social bias should no way dictate what anybody wants to do with their lives.

The following situation is quite common.
When, late at night and you're returning home from work, the streets are almost empty, you hail the only autorickshaw or a taxi , you see on the streets and you see it is  driven by a man. Your heart sinks in fear, when he gives you that sly look, you truly wish that you could have been driven by a woman driver. 

Considering the rising incidents of crimes against women, this is the most welcome change as women feel a lot safer travelling alone, when other women drive them. Though the change is bada as these drivers have all the courage to step into what was considered a man's world before,we cannot overlook the safety of the women drivers who ply vehicles at night! We need to take many more stern steps to change this scenerio of  rising crimes against women! 

Nonetheless, there are many unsung heroes like Vimla, Yes, I repeat many "UNSUNG HEROES" who not only control their lives, despite challenges and provide for their families but also contribute in their own small ways to bring about changes in today's scenerio.

Hat's Off to these women autorickshaw drivers who have all the determination to ply the streets of our cities happily in their autos!

"Kadam Chhota, Change Bada!"

picture credit tribune.com

Every change begins with a small step, whether it’s a change within your family, or the whole country! India’s hero, Padman, had its digital premiere on ZEE5, on 11th May. Don’t miss this inspiring true-life story, only on ZEE5.Download the app and subscribe now.For every subscription, ZEE5 will donate Rs. 5 towards the personal hygiene needs of underprivileged women.

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Admission Open!

Tell me child, "What is the name of this fruit?" asked the teacher pointing at the picture of an apple. "Banana" my toddler replied. I wished to be invisible right away! That was an last interaction round between the Principal-teacher and parents- kid. The question was repeated again, but, the answer did not change.

Children are, let's face it, a mystery and what's going on in their little heads is often as baffling as it is hilarious. My toddler who is a bit more naughtier than others was hell bent to name,"banana" for every fruit he was shown.

Just when I was thinking that we had successfully done with all the multiple interaction rounds namely interaction with kid, interaction with parents and this round of interaction with both parents and kid came as a shock!

We had been preparing for these rounds for my son's PRE-KG admission since months. I had left no stones unturned to teach him basic answers, manners and discipline, also he was very good in his kindergarten school. But my son was in no mood to give the correct answer. The Principal too asked us humourosly whether banana is the only fruit we give to our son.

I thanked my lucky stars as he identified the colours, shapes correctly and was about to throw the wrapper of the chocolate given by the teacher anywhere but dustbin, instead he threw in the dustbin kept in the room in the nick of time.  On a bad day, a tad of 3 year old is most likely to throw tantrums, and behave unalike what he is taught or expected.

I was not very sure if the interviewers were pleased by us. Anyways, we had to prepare ourselves for another interview in another shortlisted school in the vicinity, that was scheduled for the next day.

When we had shifted this year in this city, little did I know that I will have to struggle for my kid's PRE-KG admission. Admissions have gotten more and more competitive in the past decade. We all know how a tenth passed student have to struggle to find a college of his choice. I have realized that even school admissions are not different. They can be unnerving for child and for parents as well.

Nowadays, parents are quizzed by the school really thoroughly and you have to be well prepared. If you are not prepared for them, your interview can impact your child's chances negatively.

Being new to the city, my happiness knew no bound, when I saw a reputed school just a few minutes away from my house. This school topped my shortlist of schools. Among the schools with SSC BOARDS, CBSC, ICSC and International, we had to shortlist considering the flow, vicinity, admission process and the fee structure. Yes, the fees! Today, one year of school fees exceeds the total education expenses of one's life.

Besides these multiple interaction rounds giving me nightmares, I was also worried as my child did not fall in categories like sibling, alumni, girl child, management or EWS (Economically Weaker Sections) quota. I could see the chances of getting admission this year to any school I had shortlisted, becoming bleaker!

It is a fact that if your child is your first child, if your child is not a girl, if you are not an alumni, and if you belong to the general category, the admission becomes difficult as the seats are further filtered in terms of annual income of parents, residential address, and stay at home Moms. It is like finding an Oasis in the Desert than getting the school admission. Not to mention, the intensity of the interaction rounds that may surprise you!

I could truly comprehend the toughness behind school admissions today. I could relate to the struggle of all those parents seeking admissions for their children either for PRE-KG or LKG. Parents of toddlers will truly relate to the roller coaster rides of interaction rounds. Actually, one can't blame the schools, as these institutions also have to strictly adhere to the rules and regulations thus framed. The evergrowing population and competition is adding fuel to the problem, So the parents need to abrase themselves thoroughy if the they wish to seek admission for their kid in the desired school.

 Nonetheless, after completing the interviews and the interaction rounds in the schools, it became a usual practice for me to desperately check my inbox daily for a positive reply from schools. One fine day, the wait was finally over, when we received a mail from one school and I took a deep breath! I knew I would be busy for another 10 years with the school projects and exams till he would complete 10th class. I was relieved as no more worries of admissions for another decade.

A piece of advice..school admissions are hard nut to crack so prepare yourself  well in advance if you wish to pull through them.

On that note, I would like to draw your attention to my earlier post,"AVERAGE IS MEAN" wherein I say that, 'Choosing a career of one's choice after tenth demands an impactable academic score in tenth class.' Similarly, Choosing a SCHOOL of your choice for your kid demands an impactable planning even before planning a family !!!

My "Third Baby" at 50+!!!

Yes, having a third baby at 50+  was the best thing I've ever done! For some people, all it takes is one pup to change their minds, and often, those who are not dog persons, are the people who become the biggest doggie devotees!

I am one of them. Yes, dogs weren't on my "radar" for so long. That is until my daughter got one. She is an urdent dog person and loves every dog that walks by. Every pup is a cute doggie to her. Though she was relentless since ages, we did not get a pup then, as, first of all I wasn't a dog person and secondly I lacked the confidence of taking an additional responsibility of a third baby. But, finally I gave in when she was capable of taking care of one.

That's when,"Bebo" a twenty days old female labrador entered our lives. The family fell in love with the little puppy at once and now we can't imagine life without her.

Yes, she is my third baby at 50+! She is my child. She opened her eyes and helped me overcome an irrational fear. Bebo confirmed that big or little, fluffy or sleak, my love and admiration for these creatures is definitely in my soul.

I have evolved from being not a dog person to a dog lover in a lovely way. She is on my lap, on my car seat, on my bed, on my sofa, at my kitchen door waiting for food, she is everywhere, the important and adorable member of our family.

Raising a puppy is just like raising a human child. Though my girls were of great help in raising my third baby, I knew, I had to learn how to do everything and I was the one who had to teach my puppy how to do it. Although, it meant a lot of work, I knew it would all be worth it in the end because we would have a trained, balanced and a adorable companion for plenty of wonderful experiences and adventures.

First and the foremost, we headed to the vet for a thorough examination. He gave us the information on her nutritional needs, specific instructions on proper vaccinations and de-worming. I was glad when the vet said that my pup was a healthy one.

Establishing a daily schedule for her was essential to have a well balanced dog. Puppyhood isn't something that lasts just a few weeks. Dogs don't become adults until sometime between 1 and 2 years of age. First few weeks were trying times for us, as a puppy need to relieve itself nearly ten times in a day. We also sought  the help of a trainer to teach her basic commands. Obedience training and walking on a leash were the most important ones. She also councelled us about the behavioural aspects of my baby.

After her first round of vaccinations, we could take her for walks twice a day. Potty-training was easier, but pee-training was much difficult. I recall how pee-training remained our "Everest" and  how we conquered it.(I have written how we dealt with her pee-training in my earlier post,"A twist to the incentive reward program with my furry pet.")

I had to constantly update myself about her feed. When to feed her? How many times a day? What should she be eating? Which fruits and vegetables could be fatal to her?  How to deal with the ticks and fleas in her fur, if at all she gets them due to socialising with other dogs?

Overexcitement lies at the heart of all kinds of common puppy problems. My overexcited  puppy many a time would snap at my fingers, snarl and tug at clothes until they rip! She would jump and snap at our arms and legs! She would spin about nipping and growling as we put our hand down to restrain her!  A total lovable overexcited brat! Initially, at times, not used to such overexcitement of a puppy, I had random emotional breakdowns, but, the moment my baby would snuggle in my lap, I would stare at her and think, "How could anyone not love you?" And then I would break down for completely different reasons! 

The period between 3and 6 months was just as an  "elementary school age". The best phase, though it was a difficult one, was teething and related chewing. As she had begun to teethe, she naturally needed things to chew on. In addition to mouthing people (during her teething period), she would also mouth things in her environment, that included wooden table, chairs, doors and almost all the furniture. We had to puppy-proof our home, had to provide an assortment of interesting and safe chew toys. We had to teach her to inhibit the bite while chewing. We had to teach her that her mouth on human skin was not okay at all.  I haven't lived with a pup earlier, but, my dog lover daughter was of immense help while raising our pup during the first six months.

During her adolescence between 6 to 18 months, my furry started developing her tantrums. But, then, I knew my baby so well that I could handle them successfully. With the help of our veterinary surgeon, we could deal with her first heat cycle. He also advised us on the right age for spaying and neutering.

Some of us think that a puppy is an adorable tiny dog, stumbling around as it explores the world, but, a dog is a big responsibility and it means being able to commit a significant amount of time, energy and money.

Nevertheless, its her presence that has changed everything for better, I relearn that over and over again. She is the stressbuster for all of us. She does't just fills our heart, she has actually made our heart stronger. 

Dogs have positive effects on one's health. Just the act of petting lowers heart rate and blood pressure. No wonder there are therapy dogs, who are brought to the International airport that help passengers feel relaxed and de-stressed before they fly, especially the children who tend to get anxious or cranky at airports. We also see therapy dogs, who are trained to provide affection, comfort and love to people in hospitals, retirement homes, nursing homes and even in schools.

I consider myself as petparent and not petowner. I talk to her. My baby has learnt social skills just like our human kids learn. I remember the first time I heard my furry cry, I was hooked. "Has the world ever known a more beautiful whimper?" 🤔 Sometimes, even an expensive mattress does't please her, I end up just letting her sleep next to me which soon turns into her letting me sleep next to her on my bed.😀

Every petparent will agree that there's nothing like a warm welcome from your pooch when he/she gets home.The way my baby treats when she sees any member of my family when they are back home is simply overwhelmingly impressive. The moment the person is in, she jumps and starts kissing with her tail wagging out of control!

The exceptional connection which she has developed with us is unparallel. She can pick vibes, she is able to understand it when anyone of us is upset. She has a way to please and make us happy. 

We document each milestone, be it her first birthday or her first vacation. Good Lord, how I love my third baby! 100 times a day, I kiss her snout, I sniff and kiss her paws, I rub the boogers off her eyes, I do belly rubbing and I love the tactile sense of her and  she loves us back.

We see more and more families are adopting dogs as pets. So, when you choose to get a dog, you must choose to become a responsible dog owner. Many times dogs are in, as the child in a family loves it. Children and pets can be an adorable combination, but pets are not toys for children. It is a living creature, as I said, a big responsibility. Unfortunately, not all dog owners act responsibly, they abandon their dogs when they become inconvenient or have a chronic illness. This is tragic and not acceptable.  Dog ownership is not something to be taken lightly, bringing both pleasure and responsibility in equal measures.

• "Adopt, don't Shop! these lovely babies who love us unconditionally as much as we love them! 
•  As for me, each member of my family has lovingly shared her responsibility as one team. My house has become my "Home" all the more since I have added one set of four legs, a happy tail and that indescribable measure of love that we call as my third baby.
  

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• At 50+, I am still spoiling, cuddling, primping and using baby talk. It's just directed at my furrier baby! My pooch has helped me to rediscover the "Reserves of energy and patience", I didn't know I had, to raise a third baby at 50+!
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• It reminds me of a quote,
  "The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants."-Johny Depp (actor of Pirates of the Carribbean)