MOMS OF ALL GIRLS VS MOMS OF ALL BOYS

• I recall attending babyshower of one of my close friend's daughter. Invariably after the lunch, I joined in the conversation with young moms present there, the topic was MOMS  WITH  ALL  GIRLS  VS MOMS  WITH  ALL  BOYS.
  
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• MOMS OF ALL BOYS ARE DIFFERENT!!!  chirped one friend. Being a Mom of all girls, I didn't quite get it.
• Having boys means tearing the house apart, when they are kids, yet another mumma tweeted.
  
• Boy fight around, nearly killing one another and do it all over again. They never stop moving, always playing, running,  eat and fight constantly making the home an indoor sports centre; at times a battlefield said another one. To which one more mom added that everything becomes a weapon, be it a book, a pen, a toy, or a pillow not without the hard punches. 
• She further added that parents of all boys are more harder as raising all boys means not only more patience but more hardwork. 
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• Another pretty mommy reacted stating that having all girls means happy and harmonious life. In fact she explained her statement point by point...
• 1. Girls fight less, they do fight and drives parents crazy, but no bruises, play nicely. 
• 2. Having all daughters is the secret of domestic bliss. 
• 3. Father of all girls are softer and more generous than father of all boys. 
• 4. Baby girls clothes are the most adorable things on the planet. Their  hair ties, clips brushes, any mother would love to dress them like Princess. NOT WITHOUT TANTRUMS!!!   And MOOD SWINGS! 
• 5. Girls with their girly stuff, reading fairy tales, playing with dolls are a great delight for parents
  
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•  After this pointer round, yet another mumma stated that daughters are more attached to their parents than sons.
• One more moaned about raising all boys meant high on energy and low in patience, though it was ruled out by many moms with all girls. 
• During the discussion one more sweet muma narrated an entire twenty minute story about the energy and patience level to raise all her girls. 
  
• Though all the lovely  mommies present there knew that whether they are moms to girls or moms to boys, they all are blessed to have them and the bond between the parents and children is priceless. But, even so, I could see and sense that the conversation had turned into a CAMP DRIVING A WEDGE BETWEEN THE MOMS OF ALL BOYS AND MOMS OF ALL GIRLS. 
•  As for me, I sincerely feel that, in this age of infertility issues, one should consider oneself fortunate to have children.
• Whether they are MOMS OF ALL BOYS, MOMS OF ALL GIRLS OR MOMS OF A GIRL AND A BOY, all strive with almost same amount of patience, doing  many of the same things daily from feeling engulfed to handling mood huffs.
• All kids loves their parents in a special way, The secret of domestic bliss is not related to the gender of one's kids but our nurturing.
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• In an attempt to end the debate, asking for another round of ice cream, I cut the gordian knot by raising a toast to all moms who are blessed to experience the fun of raising their children be them all boys or all girls!!! 
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A TWIST TO THE INCENTIVE REWARD PROGRAM...WITH MY FURRY PET

• Getting my furry pet, merely 20 days old, a lovely female labrador, a bundle of  joy, overflowing with energy meant adding an extra dose of happiness to our already happy family.
  
• She is really a bright spark. Within no time she grasped all the basic commands we taught her. Thanks to the training given by a brilliant dog trainer.
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• At the drop of the hat, she follows the basic commands of SIT, LIE DOWN, UP, STOP, STAY, NO, COME, DROP IT, FETCH, SHAKE HAND, LEASH WALKING.
• But one aspect that needed attention was the behaviour in respect of pee training. 
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• On the very first day of her arrival, being just twenty days old puppy, we had trained her to use a mat that lay at the door of washroom to relieve herself, fearing that if she is allowed to go inside, she would harm herself being a tiny tot and also due to puppy excitement fiddling with the things.
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• Alas! we made a mistake!! Yes, we made a big mistake!!! The responsibility of solving any behavioral problem in puppies /dogs solely lies on its owner. The experts and the trainers guide us to solve it. But applying proper obedience training at an early stage is very essential. Had we allowed her to step inside the washroom, there would not have been any mess.
• A puppy is just like a newborn human baby who needs to relieve almost ten times in a day which gradually reduces as it grows. So with that rate, it became increasingly difficult for me to wash/dispose off the soiled mats. 
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• All my efforts to cajole her with treats  to go inside the washroom and not at its entrance to perform the desired act went pear shaped. She was determined to follow what she was taught initially. 
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• TREATS. 
  

• They are powerful training tools like rewards given to reinforce any behaviour in dogs. If the desired behaviour is achieved, dogs are given their favourite treats with lavish praises. 
• It is like stepping in the shoes of the corporate world of incentive reward programme. 
• No amount of tempting treats to lure my brat to go inside the washroom was helping.
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• My furry pooch religiously used the space at the entrance of the washroom to relieve herself though we started keeping the mat inside the washroom. 
• Reading almost every Web page about  how to bring a change in the behaviour pattern of a dog, implementing them did not yield the desired change.
• In my search for the solution,
•    I decided to put the cart before the horse, by giving a twist to the
•  INCENTIVE REWARD PROGRAMME knowing that I was grasping at straw. 
• Yes I started giving rewards before the act. The moment I sensed my puppy rushing towards the washroom door I use to give her some treat.
•  VOILA!!!!! 
• The desired performance was achieved. 
• Eventually, my pooch started stepping inside the washroom to relieve herself only after a treat. 
• I knew I was taking a risk of encouraging a wrong behaviour in my pooch as the reward preceded the act,  but in any case I was glad that there were no more soiled mats.
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• Reversing the programme worked
• Yes, it did. 
• Each dog is unique. There are exceptions to the rule as well.
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• In a matter of few days.. However... To my surprise....My super intelligent brat soon  learnt the tricks of the trade. I think she knew that she had to set the incentive reward programme right.
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• At last,..
• She eventually learnt that she should not be asking a treat beforehand!!
• HOORAY!!!! 
• Finally me and my furry succeeded. Joint Effort indeed.
  
• EVERY VISIT OF MY POOCH TO THE WASHROOM MEANT PERFORMING THE DESIRED ACT INSIDE THE WASHROOM THEN RUNNING TOWARDS ME AFTER THE PERFORMANCE WITH THAT TARGET ACHIEVED TWINKLE IN EYES WITH DROOL FOR A REWARD!!!!! 
  
• No more worries of giving the rewards before hand. We were back to the normal incentive reward programme!!!
• I have realised that, to bring a positive change in the behaviour of a pooch is not a piece of cake.
•  A lot of patience, perseverance and my furry's trait of grasping things finally cut the mustard.
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• A LITTLE TWIST TO THE INCENTIVE REWARD PROGRAM WORKED, 
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•     IT WAS THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD!!!!! 
•     I can't believe I ever worked without it. 

•  As of today, my puppy has grown into a disciplined, lovely female dog, who does not require any treats to use the washroom. 
• On that note that I would say...... 
• All Pet lovers and pet parents, you all will agree with me that our furry pets are one of the biggest blessings in our life and they have the capacity for the kind of unconditional love that is seen otherwise only between a human and it's offsprings.
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LIVE LIKE A KID!!!

• Every summer, we would pack up our house, dump everything in suitcases and head off on our vacation.
• I recall one such summer vacation.
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• Standing helplessly in the midst of travelling bags, ready to leave for the journey, with the chaos and excitement of my kids aged 9 and 5 then, I somehow manage to do the last minute verification of checklist of all the essential requirements of my young ones.
• I decide not to complain about the hurly burly and the subsequent delay  instead I am quietly trying to enjoy the long tiring journey with my super energetic chicks.
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• At long last, we have reached our destination and our formal holiday has begun. 
• Sitting in the balcony of the resort, I smile, as this is the time of the year when I relish the prospect of doing absolutely nothing and unwinding with the switch off mode on. But my overenthusiastic elder one jostles in with a declaration that we have to go horseback riding!!!! right away!!!
  
  
  
• Putting away all thoughts of lazying and doing nothing, I decide to set an example of an IDEAL MOTHER, and I keep the needs of my little one before my needs.
• Sitting on a horse for me is like being in hot water but notwithstanding this fear, first and foremost we hit the local market to shop for hats but settle for helmets. Before getting on a horse we want to make sure that  we wore a proper riding helmet considering safety before everything else. We are now resembling more like cowboys rather  cowgirls?? 
  
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• The first tedious task..Mounting the horse  using a horsemount!!!!  Precisely following the instructions given by the horseguy, I pick the reins with left hand, put my left foot in the stirrup closet and push myself over the saddle!!! I finally succeed in the task of  mounting after a struggle of few minutes.
• Second hurdle!! I sit properly on the saddle, let my leg hang in such a manner that it  allows my weight to fall down into my heels, another command by horseguy. I accomplish this job also successfully!!! 
• Holding the reins correctly with just the right tension to maintain control without restricting the horse's movement is the third piece of struggle!!!
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• The horseguy is now  guiding my elder one's horse, mine is an obedient one to follow the former, and my younger one who is too small to ride alone is tucked with father on another horse.
• Our ride has started.. Eventually! 
• Slowly and Steadily.. 
• but only I know that the feeling of insecurity is flaring up.....
• Instinctively using my hands and arms when I start feeling insecure, I end up with my hands in the air leaving with no control of the horse. Next few minutes passes with me trying to balance myself, learning yet another lesson of  balancing!! I also learn that anything that affects our balance also affects our horse's ability to do it's job well!.
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• Soon I realize that riding is more about balance than grip.
• Sweating in the afternoon, I am battling to keep my foot properly not allowing my leg to swing to the front or back, one more difficult venture for me.
• Riding uphill or downhill, the most complicated errand!!!! Making absolutely sure to maintain the position over centre of my horse is another terrifying challenge for me, as balancing now becomes an unnerving task.
• Heading uphill means leaning forward and travelling downhill means leaning back..I sense that now these tasks are exerting me completely, though I am glad to see that my little one is thoroughly enjoying the ride.
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• Suddenly I see my horse has started a brisk walk and I thank my lucky stars as I am saved just on time from falling head on heels.
  
• After climbing a steep hillock, we are now on a path which is very narrow, and on one side, there is a sheer drop  of some thousand odd feet straight into the valley. I immediately send a prayer up and hope that we would cross it soon intact in one piece.
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• Thankfully that is the last straw!
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• I sense now that every muscle in the body  is becoming sore. All I want to do is  give up, when my girl who is merrily enjoying, calls out asking if I was scared and already tired. I want to yell at her for putting me through this as I am not energetic, enthusiastic and more so nine like her anymore. But;
• I don't utter a word as I hear the 'MOTHER INDIA' in me whispering into my ears that our kids learn from us and we are their role models. One must not give up in any draining situation..Mustering my courage and strengthening my willpower, I move ahead and see the setting sun who has witnessed my efforts to finish the entire ride of two hours.
  
• At last the ordeal is over, when we are back at the resort and I finally get off  the horse.
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• I realise that my holiday has officially begun now...
• Yes indeed....
• with the most thrilling experience of horseback riding and I see my cherished dream of idling and lazying vanishing in the air. 
• I also realise that I am exhausted and excited at the same time, I feel truly wonderful having been pulled through successfully each moment of riding hurdle to hurdle.
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• Now I think, we grownups struggle with our fears, yeah we fear our fears, try to take the easiest way out, the laziest way, sometimes fearing to try out scary things thinking that the age is not in our favour.
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• I wish we must live like kids, enthusiastic, learn and try new things, even if these things appear scary, conquer our fear, run, jump, climb a tree, ride a horse, chase a butterfly, tumble, and learn how to live merrily....... 
• .....truly in the manner I endeavoured to overcome my fear of horseback riding few years back with my toddler!!!!
  

TALEGAON, MY SECOND HOME.

• It was a Saturday evening of June month, with the first rains after a dry spell,
• the smell of fresh powerfully evocative mud, 
• the rain droplets turning into an endless music of droplets,  
• we were enjoying the rains sipping some steaming tea,
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• an idea of having a SECOND HOME amidst the nature's lap, flashed through our minds to enjoy the rains many times more. 
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• The Search for the property then became our favourite weekend pastime. Till one Sunday morning, we chanced upon an advertisement on "Second Home" page of a newspaper.  
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• The property was decided at TALEGAON DABHADE, a historic place, 120 kms from Mumbai and 35 kms from Pune, situated on a highest altitude between the two metros.
• We fell in love with the place instantly and the next one year we were caught up in buying it and  interiordesigning it. Talegaon has a very pleasant climate, surrounded by mountains and  it's vast green areas  with awesome rains. 
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• It also has many lakes and hence it is called Talegaon (Laketown).
  
• Every vacation sometimes weekend also we hit the BOMBAY PUNE road with the kids and stayed at least for two days. 
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• Slowly our favourite books, 
• kitchenwares,
• family games, 
• our cycles, 
• full set of clothes 
• was up at the home, we only needed to drive to another home
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• The Expresshighway was under construction then but we really didn't mind the four hours drive.
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• After the construction of Mumbai-Pune Expressway, which is India's first six lanes concrete high speed express road, we could reach in less than two hours.
  
• On the other side, our home was taking a good shape. We had done it with cane furniture, 
• with the blow-up pictures of my kids on the walls,
• with our favourite cane swing in the balcony where we could sit for hours enjoying the beautiful landscapes. 
  
• with the entire family enjoying the cycle rides.
  
• with ofcourse the RAINS!!!!
• We had never missed our visit in the first week of June, the onset of Monsoon, with my kids jumping in the poodles,
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  snugging into the swing looking at rains and listening to its music, terrific but beautiful lightening and deafening thunders.
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  We had a blast of our lives in my second home for nearly twenty long years for every vacation well spent!! 
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• For us, our home at Talegaon always remained as a family space, 
• For my relatives and my closknit friends, this house was the best option, in fact, I can bet that each one of them has lasting memories of their stay. 
• We always looked forward to get our dear ones with us and the place really gathered more beauty with their company.
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• Memories of a famous Garden restaurant  "THANDA MAMLA" at the entrance of Talegaon, located on the top of a hill with THANDA THANDA COOL COOL breeze and delicious food will never fade away. 
  
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• Due to Expressway's best and fast connectivity, slowly and steadily Talegaon and it's nearby places gained momentum. 
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• Places like Chakan, Hinjewadi, Wakad became new IT HUBS.
• Economic growth created new job opportunities leading to urbanisation.
  
  Agriculture was an important factor of these places, but the town's industrial development and  emergence of software companies led and is leading to its quick urbanization. 
• For many, now Talegaon is their first home.
• With so many multistorey apartments coming up in and around the town, the place is loosing it's quietness, though it is still the land of beauty, serenity and divinity being on an altitude of  2200ft above sealevel.
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• Inspite of its quick urbanisation, Being a Eco city, it is still attracting real estate developers to promote the area for property investment and it is still the SECOND HOME for many giving the joy of being close to the nature with the bestest amenities and facilities of a cityhome.
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• Eventually though, our regular visits  started reducing, owing to our kids  getting engrossed in their higher studies,
• rising urbanization, 
• we getting use to the new pace of life. 
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• Gradually our visits stopped completely. We did return a couple of times, But;
• Somewhere deep down we knew that....
• the coming up of  many  highrise  apartments opposite our place blocking the entire landscapes, giving a feel of more of a citylife,
• the changing tastes of our growing kids contributed in small ways towards our dwindling interest. 
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• We have now sold off  the property, 
• but,..
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• On some odd Saturday evening, there is that slightly tug at the heart when we miss the vacation times well spent with the loved ones,
• those moments of simple family bonding and carefree times, TALEGAON will always remain a part of us.
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• Whenever we  take the Expresshighway, we take a deliberate halt at The Cool Cool Thanda Thanda... "THANDA MAMLA" and relive the moments.
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• So on that note I would say 
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• TALEGAON  WILL  ALWAYS  BE  ONE  OF  THE  BEST  THINGS  IN  MY  LIFE, 
• WITH  THE  EVERLASTING  MEMORIES MADE  WITH  MY  LOVED  ONES  ALONG THE  WAY!!! 

EXTRACT FROM MY DIARY

• It was a December night of my teen years, pleasantly cold, we had done with our mid term exams, a spontaneous plan was made to escape from the hustle bustle of citylife to a nearby place. 
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• The weekend getaway was decided. One of my father's dear friend had a second home at Awas village near Alibaug beach. Though he was not accompanying us, he made sure that we would have great time at his well furnished cottage, with his cook and caretaker. 
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• Next day, early morning with the picnic mood on, skipping our breakfast, we took a ferry boat from Gateway of India to Revdanda. 
  
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• As it was a quick plan, also the cottage equipped with a cook, we did not pack any snacks or titbits. 
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• After we reached Revdanda, we had to walk a distance of 2 kms to reach the Awas village. 
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• On a winter morning, with a temperature hovering around 10 degrees, we were walking through the narrow muddy road amidst dense trees, heading towards the cottage, desperately wanting to stop for a while and grab a bite. 
  
• There it was....!!! 
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• One CHAI TAPRIWALA came to our rescue. With a warm smile he whipped out glasses, poured steaming adarakwali chai and served it  with bread and some butter on it. 
  
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• Resting on a bench, we silently and hungrily munch our way through  UNDOUBTEDLY ONE OF THE BEST CHAI PREPARATIONS THAT I HAVE EVER HAD!  
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• During our conversation with him my little Bro complained about the taste of the butter, 
• Pat came the reply with a witty smile and a twinkle in eyes from the tapriwala 
• "SOMETHING IS BETTER THAN AJIBAT NOTHING "
• I would mention here that" ajibat "is a Marathi word that means "Absolutely" 

• These words coming from him hit me and still keeps me grounded. 
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• That was some 35 years back. 
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• Come December on a winter night of this year, planning to spend a weekend at a nearby place, down the memory lane my visit to AWAS was revived. 
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• After a span of nearly three decades the place has come up as one of the most loved weekend getaway with the clean beach, well maintained roads and lovely resorts equipped with all sorts of amenities and Mouthwatering eateries. 
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• But...
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     THAT TAPRIWALA, THAT CHAI, THOSE WORDS,  
•   I will remember for many years after I have forgotten the hungry walk from  Revdanda to the cottage at Aawas!!! 
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